I dun know wat e hell is she up too

Hey its me again... Ok 2 post ago I told you how pissed I was at this particular person right? I been having mixed feelings about it this couple of weeks. I finally managed to catch with her like last week. And I'm waiting for her reply about this Thursday but she trying very hard to play hard to catch. I hate that feeling, you guys digging me. For the meantime, I just trying to play it cool. I told some you guys already that I have long thought it through about 11 months back and if it this time it does not work then I all right with it. Maybe all along it was just my wishful thinking. Nevertheless, I not giving up... I always said that the greatest test of a man is his ability to fight his fears and wait. I have to be patient with this girl. I have to fight my inner demons to show her who I am and what I really stand for... Maybe just maybe then I will melt her heart and live in eternal bliss. I have seen too many people just give up like that. So early, too early. Sometimes you think its all lost and to me thats the freaking difference. You don't just give up like that. Fight. In soccer, the coach will tell you to play the full 90 minutes. In basketball, the coach will tell you to play the full 40 minutes. In tennis, you have to play the full 3 sets. If you don't play to standard, what happens. Either you get substituted out and get the full "hair-blowing" experience or you lost the match. "The game's on schedule, we have to play it, we might as well win it." Wise wise words out of Mr Bill Russell. That has been my motto since like forever. Some of you might not agree with me but thats what I really really feel man. I see other happy with their boyfriends or girlfriends and I always tell myself wait and it will be your turn soon. You just have to keep trying. Wei Ren has been telling me maybe my success will only come when I become an adult. Maybe she feels that way too. I think if I can meet up with her more often, and show her who I really am then she will accept me. The radio was playing my love song - beautiful soul. It has probably the essence of what I really want to tell her. And if you are reading this and I pray that you do, I mean every single word I say on this freaking page. My heart has not changed since like 5 years ago. It died a couple of times but it does not mean I give up. So if you read this, know that I still digging you and I really trying to take it slow and everything just like the way you wanted me too. If I taking it too slow, speed up for me a little bit.
p.s: When it comes to love, I'm a totally loser.